`Sweett-Sensation. (:

wondering..

where did you go..

who are you with right now.

i still miss you..

hard to tell..

thinking of the memories.

both sweet & bitter ones.

i do still need you.

dreaming of you still..

but not as sweet as last time.

waited down stairs your block.

seeing you with another girl.

smiling & holding her.

for the 1st time.

when i walk away.

you didn't hold me back.

will this happen in reality?

what if i went below your block..

waited for you.

& i see you with another girl.

& i walk away you didn't hold me back.

what if...?..

it hurts. really it does..

though it was just a dream.

somehow i feel.. it's happening.

no more pies.

no more holding on to..

your tummy when you speed across

the highway.. ..

i thought i could move on.

i tried moving on.

but almost everywhere i go.

i think of you..

everything i eat or drink.

reminds me of you.

every smile i smiled

it's not as sweet as the ones i gave you.

is this it?

just tell me you've move on.

& i will completely move on too.

i won't feel guilty for leaving you.

i won't turn back anymore.

just tell me. can you?

`Loves,
`XiaoDouDou. ♥.
@ 10:14 AM

well. i just called you..

&you.. didn't answer..

i really think this is it..

no more waffle dates.

no more long sweet messages.

no more nothing!

well, this is the way i want thing to be..

isn't it?.. ..

some one asked me..

if i regretted....

regretted being with you at all.

my answer is no. i didn't.

than. they ask me..

did i regret breaking up with you.

& i replied..

no. i didn't regret at all.

both of us.. didn't have the feelings..

the same love we had before.

so even if we get back together.

we will have to go through the same break up... again.

so why patch?...

thank you &.. sorry for everything.

i wish you all the best in life.

&.. this will be the last post.. (:

take care.. my stupidness fishbally head! x3.

`Loves,
`XiaoDouDou. ♥.
@ 11:01 PM

we're not talking as much as we use to.

words from each other's mouth...

getting lesser..

not seeing each other every weekend..

it's going to normal..

not missing him anymore..

do i?.. i still do miss him.

but do i miss him as much as last time?

do i still care?.. i know myself..

i am beginning to care.. less for him.

i don't know why.

i let gaming once again rule my life.

let me forget about arguments.

& i spent almost 20hours+ a day

staring at the computer screen.

i don't even bother to leave a message for him.

am i just too lazy?

or just going to move on without him?.

it that possible?..

i don't know.

i don't know what the fuck i want anymore.

`Loves,
`XiaoDouDou. ♥.
@ 10:24 PM

today... today is today..

not yesterday or tomorrow.

today is.. today..

actually should be.. our 2nd month.

don't know what to do still...

still thinking what to do..

what i want in life..

i do miss him.

i still do. yes i do.

but the main question still floods my mind.

" if we patch back, will we have break ups

like this painful again? "

i don't know.

i cannot confirm that we will last long.

i cannot confirm so much things! ):

haix. i really don't understand..

don't understand at all !!

- continues thinking. -

`Loves,
`XiaoDouDou. ♥.
@ 12:34 PM

should i patch back?

should i love him back like i used to?

do i really want to give up?

can i really forget him?

just now when he messaged me..

& asked me to go to his blog.

he pulled me back.

& made me think twice about leaving.

i don't know what to do..

so many questions..

but there're no answers to all of them.

flooding myself with this kind of trouble.

i thought i could have just let go.

let all that go.

& live my life without him..

play maple whole day..

do nothing. just stay at home..

& play that darn game.

what i really want in life?

who is my true other half?

questions are still not answered.

`Loves,
`XiaoDouDou. ♥.
@ 4:38 AM

today went back home (:

sway sway sway! HUMPHS!

raining so heavily..

i walked under the rain.

so cold..

but lucky....

there's this aunty helped me.

she share with me her umbrella. (:

sweet right.

she knows my mother & grandma.

she share with me till my lift :D

than off she go buy 4D ! LOL!

so sweet! lalala!

missing baby right now.. ): hmmm..

`Loves,
`XiaoDouDou. ♥.
@ 10:23 PM

Thursday, 13 May 2010. :D

today meet baby. (:

after training with my sponsor..

baby came to my house to fetch me.

so sleepy. ): haix.. yawns..

so many things to think & do..

baby, tio heat rash.. ._.

he so hard to move..

haiyo! don't know what to do. ):

but after awhile...

at the lift. he feel much better le! :D.

but i still worried about him..

we reached baby's house about 11 or 12plus.

forgotten.. hmmm..

after awhile i think.. yeah i fall asleep..

he went to play dota & even order mac! =.=

LOL! he growing so fat already.

still eat eat eat.. stupid ugly pig!

Friday, 14 May 2010. (:

have to wake up at 10 plus

my stupid baby force me to wake up

bath.. wash up..

than take his stupid bike & go...

go do this tattoo. ._.

haix so sian.. boring..

i fall asleep there..

so paiseh!!.. lol. =.=.

hahaha! he do this tattoo..

than i sleep!! muahahaha!

so freaking paiseh..

i sleep till 2.45 than baby wake me up.

i thought.. we going already.

it's because baby say 3o clock finish.

but he woke me up..

cause the boss came back.. ._.

hahaha.

so i woke up.. than wait for him..

to finish up his tattoo. (:

he put 2 new colour.

purple & red.

he bleed alot. =.=!

wtf i don't dare to pei him.

because i don't dare haha..

eee.. baby finish up doing his colour...

about 4.30.. ++ we left the place.

than head back to baby's house.

he want to change his pants.

tio his blood ._.

alot people keep staring at his leg.

because he pull up his pants so high..

i mean fold up.

like zhabor. somemore.. so scary!

his stupid tattoo! ._. hahaha!

went back to baby's house.

he changed.

i took a short nap.

about 6.20 we left the house.

meet baby's marmie for dinner at simei.

we had sushi for dinner! (:

only cost $50.

quite full.. but the food ._. abit eee!

but okok la.

some as if like not cooked! ):

after eating walkwalk around the mall.

than head back home.

head back to baby's home. (:

Saturday, 15 May 2010. x3s.

baby booked in at 1o clock.

i am still asleep.

so freaking tired! =.=

hmmm!~

i woke up about 5plus in the evening..

i messaged baby.

he was still busy doing his things.

he coming back later on.. (:

he told me later to meet him straight at Ehub.

i was lazy to go ._.

but yeah. i went to bath...

blah blah blah..

watched movies on his computer that he download.

so boring to be alone.

than baby's dog pei me..

he sleep on my feet..

about 7plus baby reached home..

suppose to meet his friends at 10.

but yeah some stupid problems...

than we ordered KFC at 10.30+

they gave us the wrong orders..

& didn't want to answer our calls!

fuck them! i hate org. chickens! ):

force myself to eat ): haix!

after that watch some more movies with baby.

11+ went down to 444 to meet his friends.

chat awhile

than waited for his other friends to come down.

chat somemore blahblahblah!

than head back to his house.

finish up the movie..!!

& than went to sleep.

so sleepy!! ):

`Loves,
`XiaoDouDou. ♥.
@ 3:22 PM

boring. i am still not asleep.

thinking about load of things.

thinking about this weekend dinner

with baby's mummy & mine.

late mothers' day dinner.

baby going to outfield soon.

can't message nor call him.

i am so freaking upset! ):

message replies to my silly baby. (:

hand phone still not topped up! x3s.

8 May 2010

it's true it's true.

i've never felt this strongly.

i've never been so sure.

it's true, you're the one i want.

you're the only thing

i'll ever ask for to be content.

it's true, i want to grow old with you.

it's true.. :)

sleep tight my baby angel mushroom.

voicemail me k? XD.

Sent By Joey at 10.55pm.

this is what i will reply to his message..

silly love. (:

i know it's all true.

i know you do love me.

i need you too. i need all these.

i don't need much from you.

all i need is just

our daily chocolatest waffle dates.

our daily stupidest arguments.

our daily warmest hugs.

our daily sweetest kisses.

& most of all.. (:

our love for each other.

hoping all this will not stop.

hoping our love for each other

will grow more & deeper each day pass.

stupidness baby!

i love you freaking fishball! x3s.

just now. he said he didn't want to

send me a real long message.

but yet. he did. (:

i am happy to see his message.

10 May 2010

can't help it.

two more day and i'll be going to outfield..

then cannot text you again.

so i must make use of every chance i have.

baby i've missed you much today.

i kept thinking about you the entire day.

staring into that picture of yours.

sigh. sleep soon alright?

oh ya. i heard next week

i have to book in on friday.

than saturday night book out again.

and and, my lips swollen

cause i accidently bit it,

and i tore the skin :x

k la my eyes closing already.

i love you!

voice mail me before you sleep!

i wanna see two at least.

hahaha. kisses, my one and only.

Sent By Joey at 01.16am.

baby baby.

i got so many memories with you.

so many things i never want to forget.

i am scared.

i am so afraid that one day...

i will just forget all about it.

forget every single thing about all this.

or what if.

all this is just a big fat lie.

a dream..

even if it's just a dream.

i will choose not to wake up from all this.

i cannot face the fact that you are not real.

i worry all this will disappear one day.

): haix baby! i don't know how!

i love you. fucking noob baby! x3s.

always have & always will. (:

Char Loves Joey. :D

`Loves,
`XiaoDouDou. ♥.
@ 4:03 AM